Stop beating yourself up, Nolan

Candice: It has been commented before that I am my own hardest task master.  If it’s not done and perfect then I get angry with myself and everyone else.

Well the last week I went on a lovely holiday to a place called Ile de Re, an island just off La Rochelle in west France.  It was lovely, we had great weather and all the family went to stay in a house with its own pool. I’d promised myself that I’d try to do some writing.  We wouldn’t be going out that much in the evening so this would be a chance to crack open the iPad and churn out some words.

Ah, the best laid plans.

Well, every night Erin would go to bed and then we’d crack open a little beer bottle and sit on the sofa.  Then I’d open my book and relax.  The next thing I’d know it was midnight and time to go to bed.  So the sum total of no words got written.

And you know, I don’t feel bad about it.  I had a lovely chilled out week, which I really needed, and I just don’t know when I would have found the time.  I know time is always an excuse that people use not to write but I’m sticking to my guns.  I really didn’t have time, or the inclination.

This doesn’t mean I’ve given  up on finishing book 2 but I just think Phil and I have to be realistic.  I went to an entrepreneur event a month or so ago and the main thing I took from it was have one focus.  When this guy was getting his business off the ground then that is all he did.  He didn’t train for a marathon, bringing up a small child, go on holiday, nothing moved his focus from what he was doing.  Both Phil and I don’t have that luxury.  He’s in the middle of launching a new magazine, I’m currently applying for a new job and  looking after my ever time-consuming daughter.

So I’m moving the goal posts.  We said the first draft of book 2 by today.  We havent achieved that but we have put in 30,000 words and lots of ideas.  We had a conversation before I went away that we should move this to later in the year and then break off at one point to do the final touches on book 1 before it goes live.  Seriously, what is the rush?  We need a second book to follow the first but we won’t really need it until next year so lets prioritise and work out what is important.  And I think that will help. When I was training for the half marathon it was literally the be all and end all by the month before I did it, and that was hard as it just sat in the back of your mind – must go for a run, must go for a run.  I think the book has become has become a little like that, all pressure without the enjoyment. However, I am going to find some time to do some writing, put in a slot in the week like I do with training, but I am going to try to be more realistic.

It will get done but in a way that works for both of us.