Missing feeling like a PROPER author

Phil: According to my increasingly useless* calendar, last weekend we should have been enjoying the Writing West Midlands conference.

Candice and I have enjoyed our trip to Aston University for the last few years. It’s always a good day out. We look down the list of presentations and seminars then dole them out between us. Being a team is very handy when two events are on at the same time because we can pool our knowledge over lunch or tea. They do excellent catering at these events. Good cake, and we like a good cake.

Surrounded by other authors, it feels like we are actually part of “the industry”. I know we’ve knocked out a couple of books but neither of us gets to live off writing fiction, so we don’t feel we’ve “made it” yet. And yes I know very few authors survive purely on the income from writing, but allow me the fantasy.

Sadly, it’s not happening this year. The shoes I wear because they feel suitably authorly will stay in the wardrobe. My only complaint is that with the event being held in the summer, it’s always too hot to wear my tweed jacket which feels even more writely.

Attending writing events has been an unexpected highlight of our literary efforts. OK, we are paying to go rather than being feted up on stage (except for Stratford Literary Festival a few years ago) but it’s a start. We’ve seen some interesting talks from fascinating people. There have been moments to groan over too as the first question from the audience is always someone who just wants to talk about themselves, but it’s part of the fun.

Writing West Midlands events tend to be more technical with useful ideas on publishing and publicity. We, hard-core writers, feel more at home there than at those events where celebrities just pitch their latest book to an adoring room of fans. That and we can never get tickets for the later.

Mind you, if anyone feels the need to hear from a couple of entertaining writers about some really funny books at your international literary festival or local book club, please give us a shout!

 

*Useless, unless your hobby is crossing out events you can’t go to any more, then it’s brilliant – loads of practice.

 

Sniff the chocolate, buy the book

Phil: According to a study by Belgian researchers published in the Journal of Environmental Psychology, releasing the smell of chocolate into the air in a book shop will make customers 40% more likely to buy romance novels and cookbooks, and about 22% more likely to buy books in other genres.

The researchers, led by Lieve Douce of Belgium’s Hasselt University, spent 10 days observing customers in a Belgian bookstore and found that they would spend more time browsing if the aroma was present.

This is terrific news for anyone working in a book shop. Science has said that if they stuff themselves with chocolate and waft the smell (obviously you can’t breathe aggressively on customers at the moment) around, sales will soar. I’d be up for that!

So, sit back and imagine the scent of your favourite bar. Let your imagination fill your nostrils with the heavenly aroma. Now all you need is a book to read where a chocolate machine takes a major role in the plot. Hold, on, What about this one?

Please note: Candice and Phil do not recommend using bars of chocolate as bookmarks. They will go all melty and ruin the pages. Gobble then down with a nice cup of tea instead. 

Something old, something new

Candice: What seems like not along time ago Phil and I met at a quango, in what we thought at the time was a bad recession, and found that we had a similar sense of humour and taste in cake.

We also found that we liked to write and wrote a book, and then we wrote another and we still have another in the pipeline.  Book 1 – aka Kate vs the Dirt Boffins was circulated, proofed and launched in a format we thought was pretty good based on the advice we’d had at the time.  But when we did Kate vs the Navy and realised the error of our ways, and that we really needed more input into our writing to make things perfect.  So in the background, I’ve had a niggle about Dirt Boffins as we have been writing Book 3, that Book 1 still isn’t perfect.

But we’ve finally managed to get it right, it’s taken longer than we thought but we’ve got there and last week the new improved version came out.  It has a beautiful new cover, thanks to CollisCreative, some great copy editing thanks to Catherine Fitzsimons plus a final read from my friend Alan (cheers Alan), and then some long nights with me going through it again to try and spot every niggle left.

And now it’s out there; shiny, new and still as good as it was the first time around. I’m still laughing at the same bits, I’m still wondering what happened in the story, and I’m still amazed that Phil and I managed to put pen to paper to create a great a tale.

Now it’s your turn, if you haven’t read it, please give it a go.  If you are on Kindle unlimited you can download for free, otherwise its only 99p.

The first five people to add a comment on this post to say how much they love Phil and my blogs we will arrange to get a free paperback copy to you (did we mention there is a paperback too?), in return for a review on Amazon.

It’s still our pride and joy, and we hope that you will enjoy it too 🙂

 

 

Kate Vs the Dirt Boffins – Out today!

It’s in the shops (OK, on Amazon) now – the brand new version of Kate vs the Dirt Boffins!

Available on Kindle and paperback, we’ve added bits, taken out the typos and there’s a bonus authors interview at the back.

Perfect for all the family – head over to Amazon and grab your copy now!

Kate vs the Dirt Boffins – New edition cover

Phil: Part of our great book relaunch includes a new brand new cover.

There have been many discussions with designer Zoe over exactly which type of tractor we required, and where you can put a pair of stylish red shoes so the barcode and price box doesn’t cover them up – a definite no-no according to Candice!

On the back, we have a picture of Simon waving his protest banner, but you’ll have to buy a copy to see that. How? Well, watch this space and all will be revealed VERY soon.

In the meantime, or social media onslaught continues with a brand new Twitter account – NolanParkerAuthors – so nip over and give us a follow for all the latest news and fun.