Phil: OK, so I have a laptop and a nice warm library to work in. All I need to do now is sit down and get some writing done.
To keep my mental faculties working, obviously there is a need for some sustenance. Science will tell you that oily fish is the food of choice, but apart from being slippery and disgusting, oily fish scales will do nothing for the keyboard on my computer. Anyway, I’m sure it’s against the library rules to munch on a mackerel while sat at one of their nice tables.
No, like all sensible people, I need chocolate.
First choice were Munchies. Lovely choccy wrapped around some biscuit and caramel. One of my favourites which is why it didn’t work. Five minutes and not nearly enough typing later and I owned an empty wrapper.
There is precedent for this. In Finland, drivers carry a can of dog food in the car. That way, if they get stuck in the snow, they won’t starve. Canine canned consumables work best as you aren’t likely to eat it unless it’s a real emergency.
It isn’t an emergency, so I’ve gone for Smarties.
Smarties are clean and tidy but if you let them melt on the tongue, last at least a page and a half of top quality humorous prose. They don’t melt when carried to the library in a pocket and won’t make a mess of my keyboard. I can pretend that different colours have different effects – green for comedy, red for thrills, pink for romantic stuff etc.
Smarties, Library, something to drink. Perfect.
Oh, hold on. I can’t concentrate.
The other part of the equation is an iPod (other portable music players are available but some of them are terrible, I’m looking at you iRiver). If I need to get a lot done on the computer, I need to be wearing headphones.
I love listening to the radio. Being the sort of person who finds silence stupefying, my life operates to the soundtrack of Radio 2, Radio 4 or Manx FM. However, for real productivity, even this isn’t enough, I need uninterrupted music and preferably music I’ve heard before, like but won’t listen properly to.
This is partly why when you see NolanParker working together, we’re both earphone’d up. Chat is saved for the pre and post writing cake sessions.
So, Smarties, Library, something to drink, iPod. Productivity beckons.