What do you call a posh bird ?

Olivia Trumpington-Thomas was best described as “Good Country Stock”. Her passion was for breeding cattle. Belgian Blue’s were her favourites – although some had cruelly have suggested that the breeds square set stance and stocky features were not that different from their owner. She hadn’t really wanted to marry but her father had said that it was her duty so the task was set about with the same efficiency that she used when choosing sires for her livestock. The list of requirements was short, good temperament, reasonable features and respectable family lineage.

Phil: Olivia is the anti-Kate in our world. Everything Kate is, she isn’t. One loves the country, the other can’t stand the idea of mud on her shoes.

She doesn’t play a large part in our book at present, her first meeting (and mating) with Gareth was edited out as holding up the early part of the story despite being very funny. However, she does still pop up occasionally, mainly to help define Gareth for the reader.  The only problem is her name. You see we also have a character called Olive – who does play a big part in the tale. Neither of us had spotted the similarity between the two names but a couple of the test readers did and found it a touch confusing.

In our heads, there are very different people. We see them different and never confused them but if this book is going to be read by more than a small circle then these things need sorting out. Therefore Olivia needs a new name.

But what should it be ? We’ve bashed ideas around over tea and cake but can’t settle on one that seems right. It needs to be short, ruling out Jocasta or Arabella, the two poshest names I could come up with. The name must have gravitas and age too, Chelsea is too modern and to be honest, too chavy.

The Trumpington-Thomases are a very old family. They doubtless consider the Queen an icon but perhaps a little too German. After all, they can trace their lineage back many generations before her lot pitched up on our shores. They have a family pew in the local church and sit there every Sunday safe in the knowledge that their relatives are beneath them in the family crypt.

These are people who don’t consider fashion. Their gel will be called something traditional. She will live in a world of livestock, sensible shoes, voting Tory, tweed, titles, leaky old houses, aged Land Rovers and wax jackets that might come from Barbour, but because they last for years rather than trendiness. Years ago, she might have been a debutant but not one of the really pretty ones. Tom Sharpe fans should think Lady Maud rather than Pippa Middleton.

Anyway, you get the idea. We need help so are throwing the floor open to suggestions in the comment section please. Let’s see what the fertile minds on the Interweb can come up with.


Filed under fashion, Phil, Writing

9 responses to “What do you call a posh bird ?

  1. Geoff Brown

    Helen, Margaret, Elisabeth, Gwendoline!!

  2. Oh I like it – keep ’em coming!

  3. When I was a scabby teenager I worked at a riding stables. I was a good rider but couldn’t take part in gymkhanas because I didn’t have the right colour jodhpurs or a proper jacket. The girls who DID get to compete were all called Felicity, and had too many teeth.

  4. Pingback: Cow cake | nolanparker

  5. Don’t know any posh birds as I was brought up in Dagenham (where a posh bird was the one who owned a pair of knickers) the armpit of the western world so have nicked the following off t’interweb – Georgina, Melissa, Harriette, Henrietta, Charlotte, Clementine, Beatrice, Roberta, Arabella, Annabelle, Cordelia, Jocasta. Do I get a prize if you choose one of them?

  6. Isabel, Martha, Josephine?

  7. There’s loads of good ones in the minor characters in Jeeves and Wooster, have a browse: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_characters_in_the_Jeeves_and_Wooster_series

  8. Pingback: It’s top ten… | nolanparker

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