My Christmas 2014

Candice: The Christmas break isn’t over yet but we’ve moved from the pre-christmas to post Christmas bit very quickly, as you always do.

Its been a different one this year with the addition of an extra person in the family, and there is Erin too!  Seriously, Christmas will now be more about her than us, but that’s not a bad thing as it is our chance to go and be big kids again.

It was also the time for Facebook to do one of its clever marketing ploys and get everyone to drown their wall with ‘Their year’. Now that’s lovely and all, but I looked at my version and didn’t post it because it just didn’t represent what I wanted, and also my year didn’t really start until the 4th Jan.  I’ll be doing a revised version then.  But it did make me think about representing things as images and I had all these plans to do that as my post today, but as it always the way I didn’t have time.  So my representation is this.

Food and books.  Both of those have been a big feature in the last week, let alone the last year.  I have actually got to the point this morning, after three Quality Street for breakfast, that it is time for a chocolate break and its not even the new year yet! Even my other half is suffering with indigestion and he can eat anything.

And so books, I’ve been working my way through one this break, and my little one has been bought a few to help get her on the reading path.  Phil has been great on that front, though he has tried to throw in a train influence here or there.  But there is one she won’t be reading until she is older – both the parody shown her and the real one!

Fifty Sheds has kept the whole family amused this christmas, and I’ve even been using my creative head to come up with my own versions. I was doing some painting yesterday, working round some areas that had been missed due to poor lighting in the house and I had some inspiration.  So here is my Fifty sheds thought:

She surveyed the room and then looked him in the eye.  “I think its time for you to touch me up.” He gulped and said, “I’d best go get my paint brushes.”

Merry Christmas!

Cashing in on Christmas

Candice: I watched an interesting program last night on Christmas singles.  There is a big thing in the UK about getting a Christmas number one.  Some have been very successful with it over the years and managed to record a Christmas hit which is still being bought and played 30 years plus later.

A few years ago a had the pleasure of meeting Noddy Holder, the man behind “It’s Christmas” in of the most well-known and well sold Christmas records ever ‘Merry Christmas Everybody’.  Noddy had been presented with a star on the Walk of Stars in Birmingham, the West Midlands equivalent to Hollywood Boulevard (though with less hookers).  We coupled his celebration with one of the Christmas events happening in the city, and nearly caused a riot.  Noddy knew exactly what that record had done for him, he called it his ‘retirement fund’.  And he was happy to pose for photos and shout that famous line as many times as we wanted him to.

Watching this show it demonstrated how the Christmas single had actually been a very clever ploy for certain bands and record companies. This is before the days of X Factor where Simon Cowell just uses it to line his pockets.  Jona Lewie’s ‘Stop the Calvary’ wasn’t written to be a Christmas song but by including that one line about, “…wish I could be home for Christmas”. tipped it into that favoured slot.

The same can be said for films, ‘Elf’, ‘Home Alone’, even ‘Die Hard’ have a Christmas connection, meaning they get bought year on year.

Our book finishes at the Christmas party, with a spectacular entrance by the KOD team and spiked punch.  Should this ever make it into a film I can see the pounds rolling in as it gets shown on ITV7 (or some other obscure channel) every year for time immemorial. Not that this was planned at all…

You don’t understand being famous

Phil: This is the first blog post I’ve written whilst wearing a new pair of glasses. It’s very exciting.

We’ve discussed my deep joy at having to find a new pair of glasses on here before. It’s a reflection of the time we’ve been writing this blog that I’m changing them yet again. Another opportunity to pick a major facial feature. One that I only half got right as purely by chance my “everyday” pair turned out to be identical to the last design I’d picked a couple of years ago. Mind you, the ones in the photo are my “high days and holidays” pair so calm yourselves ladies…

Anyway, this time, there is an extra consideration. After my Aussie trip I’d wondered if some sunglasses might be a good idea. Then an advert planted the idea that some reactor lights lenses that automatically change would be a good idea. I love a bit of technology and don’t relish carrying glasses, a spare pare of glasses AND sunglasses around.

Fortunately, I discussed the idea with the optician and we hit a snag. You see, when I’m in the studio filming for a DVD, the bright lights in there will set off the lenses so I’ll be facing the camera looking a bit like Bono and no-one wants that.

How did being a celebrity become so difficult? Will there be other things like this to trip us up in our inexorable rise to A-list status?

You can laugh but just remember, when you watch Nativity on BBC2 Saturday December 20th at 4.45pm, La Nolan didn’t dominate the scene with Pam Ferris and the chocolate fountain without some serious hair dressing!

What happened to Christmas spirit?

Candice: I have to say I’m finding the build up to Christmas a bit depressing this year.  It’s not just the fact that the days are getting shorter and shorter, or the fact I seem to have developed an insatiable need to eat chocolate constantly, or even the fact that I was woken up at 5.30am by the little person.

I think it’s because people seem to have forgotten that Christmas is fun.  I went to our office Christmas party the other week and had a great time.  It was paid for by the company and catered for everyone in the building.  However, the drop out rate was really  high, with people on the day saying “I can’t be bothered”, “I’m tired” etc etc.  Having worked in a few places over the years I think a paid for Christmas party is like manna from heaven find it really disappointing that people don’t see this as a good thing.

I then over heard someone talking about another office party on the phone the other day.  “I’m just going to drop in, I’m not up for a big night.”  Come on People!  Christmas is all about celebrating.  It’s the only time of year that EVERYONE is on holiday at the same time.  It’s also a good time to have some fun with your work colleagues, relax, enjoy each other’s company and remember that we are human beings not just robots.

I suppose fundamentally my attitude is different.  I enjoy going to work, I’m at it 5 days a week for 8hrs a day  so I think you might as well get the most out of it.  I’ve made so many friends over the years at work and done lots of other things because of them.

So come on people, put some tinsel up, wear your Christmas jumper, have a few shandies and photocopy your bum. I’m  off to another one on Friday at my old work, I’m going to see if they have more of a Christmas vibe, if not I’ll find it for them.

Be careful of Publishers – all may not be as it seems

Candice: I’m not a follower of ‘vloggers’ but I am aware there are a few out there who have a massive following for their You Tube films.  One is called Zoella and she mainly posts beauty blogs, but it seems she’s also written a fiction book. Or has she…

Released a few weeks ago and expected to be Christmas number one, the book about a being a teenager in the social media world has been warmly received. However, all is not as it seems, as Zoella has admitted that she didn’t actually write the book, she came up with concept and the team at Penguin put it together.

Now she wouldn’t be the first or last ‘celebrity’ to have help with a novel. Some of them can’t even string together a sentence, let alone 80,000 words.  But I think the hoo harr with this is whether she tried to pull the wool over anyone’s eyes. She insists she mentioned this in her publicity but it seems that might not have been the case.  So she’s taking a break from the social media world for a while to deal with the backlash.

I’m in two minds about this story.  Part of me is pissed off with anyone who gets away with being published by doing no work at all.  It’s a bit like X Factor contestants or Big Brother winners.  They don’t really have a talent apart for promoting themselves, yet that allows them a level of celebrity. These are Phil’s personal bugbears (Tess Daly included).

But, if I read into some of these stories I think this 24 year old has been taken over by the corporate band wagon.  I’m sure she has some ideas in her head, she can’t have got 6 million followers for nothing, but I would think the people at Penguin saw money and said ‘Don’t worry love, we can put this together’ rubbing their hands at the thought of the sales.  Unfortunately, she’s the one who has to deal with the backlash.

We’ve spoken to Polly Courtney alot and she almost got sucked by the same thing when she had a traditional publishing deal, but being an older, stronger character she knew when she was being made a fool of.

My advice to Zoella is take this time to really write book two and prove everyone wrong.

Opinions differ

Phil: I’ve just finished reading “The Night Rainbow” by Claire King. Not an obvious choice for me but it was passed to me with the suggestion I might find the voice it is written in interesting.

This is true – ish.

The story is written from 5 year old Pea’s point of view. She recalls, in the first person, her summer living in France. Mum is pregnant. Dad died in an accident a few months ago. She talks to her sister, Margot and adult friend Claude and his dog.

Now, I’ve never been a 5 year old girl and I’m not sure that this has helped my understand of what it would be like, even if I had wanted this.

Did I enjoy the book?

****Spoiler Alert****

Not much. Until you get within 3 chapters of the end, nothing happens. Even when it does, I didn’t feel it was worth the wait. The run-up, about 180 pages is like eating candy floss. There’s something slightly sickly there but nothing of any substance. I didn’t even feel a great deal of curiosity about the ending.

By writing as a 5 year old, the author cleverly hides stuff and we only, gradually work out what is happening. There’s a bit of a twist but it annoyed rather than shocked me.

So, not a good book then? Not according to me.

But, I am largely alone in my opinion. Checking out Amazon, I find it deep in 5 star reviews:

“I would be proud to have written this book, and feel much richer for having read it.”

“Beautiful and emotive story”

“Brilliant, just brilliant……”

So am I an uncaring idiot?

Quite possibly, but I suspect it’s just not my kind of thing. Everyone is different and so we all like different books. I might not have liked this one but lots of people really did and that can only be a good thing.

This is what I tell myself anyway as I look at our book with a view to trimming down part of the final scene.

Apparently it goes on a little too long and the reader got a bit confused reading it.

No problem I think, maybe we love it so much we’ve been a little indulgent. Perhaps a little fat trimmed away will improve the read even more.

But when I start, I have a problem. I love the scene. I love every bit of it. Trim anything significant away and you have to ditch the entire scene. That then screws up the story around it and (IMHO) doesn’t provide closure on one of the story strands. Take it out and we end with a whimper, not a bang. And everyone loves to end with a big bang don’t they?

So, I’m going to gamble that if I can’t love a book that so many other can, then the reverse is true about part of our book. After all, we all like different things don’t we?

Killing off a main character

Phil: Being a bit of a Dr Who nerd, I was pleased to see buried away on one of the less fashionable TV channels, an abridged episode called “Earthshock” recently.

This is notable for a rare and major plot twist – the violent death of one of the main characters. Who aficionados will remember that the character concerned is Adric, best remembered as a whiny pain in the backside nobody liked.

Despite his unpopularity, it’s a big step to kill off a character in this way (slamming him into the Earth to kill off the dinosaurs since you ask). Up to that point, the Doctors assistants tended to leave with a bit of blubbing but generally quite happily.

Killing off one of your main characters is a tough thing for any writer to do. Whilst it will give your reader a useful shock, you might well alienate them by removing their favourite character from the story.

You’ll also make them wonder exactly who is safe. This can both put them on edge wondering what happens next, or make them lose interest in the plot since it’s obvious that the writer doesn’t care much about them. All stories call on the reader to identify and care about the characters. Those that fail to do this won’t engage the reader or viewer.

Beyond not engaging the audience, there are other pitfalls. While the BBC happily killed off most of the main characters in the spy series “Spooks” over its run, When Hamish MacBeth’s dog was run over, it had to be replaced by the end of the episode. Humans can meet the reaper all you want but cute animals? Oh no – not on Sunday evening telly!

Mind you, there are ingenious ways to make the best of it. Returning to the sci-fi world, Star Trek killed of Mr Spock at the end of the second film, a major shock for the audience. Fortunately this allowed a third film where they got him back again – a result for the filmakers and accountants. Better still, in the JJ Abrams re-boot of the series, he reverses some roles and kills off Captain Kirk for a few minutes to the pleasure of fans, film studio and the accountants all over again!

Strangely, we’ve never thought about killing off one of our major characters. I did want to skewer a middle-ranking one once but Candice told me I wasn’t allowed, so for the moment they are all safe…

It’s CHRISTMAS!

Candice: Yes it’s almost that time of year again, where people start to put on silly hats and jumpers, hand out cards and then get stupidly pissed with their work colleagues.

I’ve had my first round of Christmas parties today with my new department’s Christmas Lunch.  It was a more subdued affair with some nice chat round a table for the seven of us, a small glass of wine and then all disappearing off to our respective homes (with a quick drop into House of Fraser for me)

Friday night is the big shindig, with a black and gold theme and an opportunity for people to get absolutely hammered with drinking games (according to Dave who I sat opposite on Friday).  He was suggesting I joined in, but my current 7am wake up calls plus terrible hangovers didn’t really make me feel that his table would be where I was on Friday.

Christmas parties are great ice breakers for someone new to a company I’ve found over the years.  Or a way to find a whole new group of useful people over the punch, ‘Ah you work in legal do you?’  That’s why when I wanted to create a big final scene in our book, I made it the work’s Christmas Party.  It opens with something that I can still picture, even though I wrote it 3 years ago.  Imagine, smoke wafting across the scene and four people back-lit as they walk forward, like super heroes coming out of the fog – well that’s how our KOD chums enter the HIA Christmas party.  It all goes down hill from there considering they’ve just spent the last few months closing the company down.

We spent some time with our publishers on Saturday and one of the things they want us to prune is a part of this big scene, but Phil and I were reluctant.  However, on explanation we now think we can see why, and are going to have a go at cutting some of the fat from it, to make it a lean, mean, fighting machine!

Now I just need to work out what I am going to wear on Friday… sorry Phil no writing until after that!